A Few Things...

I bought fern green yarn today. It's made from plastic bottles and, interestingly enough, is really soft.

I like being in the middle of a knitting project. There is a sense of accomplishment and hope. At the beginning I only feel excitement and anticipation. The chance of giving up weighs heavily on my mind. I imagine the final product as I pick out my colors. Thoughts about previous failed projects fleet through my mind. But even when I fail, I still end up picking out another project. There is a sense of industry achieved that I rarely feel except when I'm crafting. You crafters know what I'm talking about..

I'm about eight and a half inches into my latest project. So that leaves about twenty-eight inches left. This could be rather discouraging, but looking at those 8.5 inches is a reminder of how working slowly really does accomplish things.. I have made progress and I can now visualize what it is actually going to look like. It's pretty.

I've never attempted anything this massive before. It'll probably take me about a billion years to finish. Oh well.

But back to the eco-friendly yarn. I like the idea of making water bottles into yarn. Plastic water bottles are kind of ridiculous, so why not use the TONS we have laying in land-fills to make something soft and cuddly?

Oooooooooooh my word!

I'm. so. excited. Eight more days!!!

My epic battle for an A

Soooooooooooo.... I got the spread sheet for my biology class and it said that I got an 'A'. I rejoiced! And then I got frustrated.

I started having dreams about getting horrible grades and having to battle my biology teacher for the correct grade. I ended up having a trainer (like Karate Kid style sans violence) who taught me how to correctly challenge her.

It was an epic dream. And then I had a dream last night that she gave me a 'B' instead of an 'A'. You see, she sent us the spread sheet to make sure all of the grades were right. It was not concrete. So I was almost positive that I would end up having a 'B+'. I wasn't about to get my hopes up.

Anyway, I talked to Mary this morning and she said the grades were posted. She got an 'A' and from the spreadsheet I got an 'A'. And we both got 95% in the class. We tied for the second highest grade. (This is from the teacher that has a 45% failure rate) But I still wanted to check to make sure that all of my consideration and dreams of worst case scenarios were indeed false. So when I finally got online I logged into the portal.. lalalalla... Found my transcript link, clicked on it... It loaded.

And I sat there and stared at the monitor, dumbfounded.

Bowling: A
Psychology: A
Spanish: A
Biology: B

Not even a B+....

Dad was downstairs and I was like, "She got it wrong. It's a 'B'. A 'B'....."

"Not even a 'B+'?"

"...No.... o.o"

So then I opened up the spreadsheet and looked at it again. There I was... Madam Butterfly (Mary picked out my codename. She was Diesela. =P) It said I had 570 out of 602 which equaled a 95%.. Below me were two B's.. 81% and 85%. That's a big drop. So I sent my teacher an email that basically said, "Umm.. I'm a little confused. You had me written as an 'A' in the spreadsheet, but on my transcript it was a 'B'."

But I had to leave! So I couldn't await her reply with baited breath... So I took my printed out spreadsheet and calculator so I could add up the points myself. And indeed.. I had a 95%. So I breathed a sigh of relief.

I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and replaced, but death's cold and bony fingers still had a grip on it.

I called Mary and was like, "GUESS WHAT. I GOT A 'B' IN THE CLASS. BUT NOT REALLY. AGGGGGGH."

And she replied in her most serious and concerned voice that I should call the teacher when I got home. I agreed. This is my GPA after all.

Don't mess with my GPA, people.

So I called Kristy and told her my long and dramatic story and she reminded me to breath. =P I decided to call Mary and ask her to get our teacher's number because I had pretty much nothing to do.

Anyway, to end this story..... It all was fixed!!! (Not yet, but it will be) Her computer switched my grades with the guy below me.

So if he looked he was probably like, "OH MAN. AN 'A'?!! NICE."

It will be ripped from him soon enough, back to its rightful owner. So now I feel that I can sleep in peace without any dreams of good-grade-thieves stealing my hard earned good grades.

Ah..

One more week of school and then finals! Which is Monday and Tuesday and I only really have one final (for Spanish, but I'm not too worried about it. We've been using pretty much everything we've learned all quarter long, sooo yeah. And it's fun!), the other two are just tests over the last week (bio) or the last three weeks (psych). So that's nice. I still have a bit of homework to do this weekend and I'm finishing up a plant lab before I head off to bed.

Yeah, I'm still going to bed early even though it's Friday night. I've gotten myself sick again, for the THIRD time this quarter.. So awesome. *sigh* Anyway.

I have four days of WASL testing next week (in order to stay in the program at my college I have to take the WASL) and I have my Spanish test, a psych and bio quiz. So, lots of testing!

And I'm going to start my job during spring break! I'll only be working for spring break though and then in the summer. I'm working at my neighbor's Doggie Daycare. It'll be good.

So that's all the exciting news! Feel up to date? Good.

New Year's Eve

It was bad 80s prom at our house last night. Although, I ended up looking like Dolly Parton.


Kristy looked (and acted) like a Disney Princess.
Rob became... Creepy?
And at our household we like to pretend that we're cool while we're playing bingo. We still have a lot of fun. =D

hahhahahhahha.. "Hair Farmer" On top it's Farrah Fawcett and underneath is Chewbacca. XD
Oh yeah.... We partied...
And collapsed.
We would make good goths..
Not even kidding.

Christmas

I am now in Isaiah in my chronological journey through the Bible. I spent some more time on chapter 53 and I looked into what His actions were and why He did those things. It was a good reminder. He died for my issues, for your issues... Everyone's issues.

For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
Isaiah 54:5

His actions.... because of my issues
Took up- infirmities
Carried- sorrows
Pierced- transgressions
Crushed for- iniquities
Bore-sin

Because of what He did he justified many and made intercession for us.

He deserves all our praises, think about that as you celebrate with your family.

HA HA!

I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN.

I HAVE THE PHYSICAL SUPERIORITY TO BOTH OF MY SISTERS.

HA HA HA!

iwiniwiniwiniwiniwin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristy is like 5'6'' or something and Ruth and I just had a contest to see who is taller. ME! I'M TALLER! I WIN!

She's 5'8'' an like 2/16 and I(!!!) am 5'8'' and 9/16

I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN.

*triumphant*

[edit] You see this is a complex issue. For my whole life I've wanted to be on the same level as Ruth and Kristy and knowing that I'm actually taller than them makes me feel like I am on the same level as them. I was always bothered by the fact that I was little and I could never do the same things as them, but I am no longer little. Also, this morning in the haze of "meh? Oh.. I should get up." I thought about how next year is my last year at home. That fact is scary because in so many ways I still feel like I'm twelve years old. It was like I reached twelve and stayed there without realizing that time does indeed go by very fast. Well, I still think I'll keep the maturity level of a twelve year old for a while. "YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?! ARE YOU EVEN KIDDING ME. My word, well THAT'S just RETARDED...." That's usually the reaction I have when I find out my friends have boyfriends. I think they didn't get the memo about staying twelve forever.. =/

See? I told you that this subject was complex.

What's really weird is seeing my friends grow up. I love being at church around Christmas time because you get to see all the old friends coming home from school or wherever for a visit. I saw one particular friend recently. I hadn't seen her in over a year and she got married this summer. She's two years older than me. I was looking at her on Sunday thinking, "She's married.... This is really odd and I can't really wrap my head around it."

*sigh* Although I'm sure that most of my friends won't get married for a while, but wow.. When Mary gets married! Phew.. I think I'll pretty much die. (And just stop laughing about the pun, you guys...)

*goes back to being a twelve year old*

Good, fun time

Allie came over last night to avoid the masses of smelly boys that came for Phil's birthday. Thhe'th mah Alliekinth, and I wuvth her thooooooo much!
We went to the mall first. And Allie exclaimed that she wanted her future man to wear shirts like this.
I said I wanted my future man to wear shirts like this. XD My next choice would have been the gangster mannequin of course.. =P

My favorite quote from the night:

"My man will have to smell like he just skinned a thousand deer."

.... *bursts out laughing*

Or, "Allie must eat the Grinch to save Christmas!!!"

Or, "My cheeks hurt from laughing..."

"My ribs hurt from laughing and I'm sitting on them, so it hurts even more."

"hahaahha!!! How do you sit on your ribs!? *tries to do so* ... *fails* I CAN'T DO IT!!! *bursts out laughing*"

But in all seriousness we got to talk about some stuff that we really NEEDED some clarification on. God really spoke through Allie and some circumstances last night to give me some very much needed clarity about a situation. And I must say, it's wonderful when the Lord works in such ways. All in all, it was quite wonderful. She played some of her songs for me and I just want to keep her locked away under the stairs so I can take her out and listen to her sing whenever I want to. But she said she'll be recording stuff soon, so I don't have to keep her locked under the stairs. ;) Seriously though, the Lord has really blessed her with a gift with lyrics and music. Her lyrics seem to resound with my own heart and I'm super excited for when I can just turn on the stereo and listen to her. But it is quite lovely to listen to her live. :)

Hmm...

News like this makes me quiet and extremely thankful and awed. One of my friend's dads accepted the Lord recently. This has been such a huge prayer request for their family and they patiently waited, and the Lord answered them.

It amazes me that sometimes the Lord does give us our heart's desires. I am astounded at how He blesses us.

News like this gives me hope for people who don't know the Lord. He is so able to work on their hearts...

Nothing is without hope, I forget that when I'm around lost people. They seem so hard toward God... But God uses circumstances and people to change their hearts.

Don't lose hope. Remember how faithful He is.

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
-2 Peter 3:8-9

hmmm..

Dennis is telling me that the weather is changing. Possibly a turn for the worse....

*strokes imaginary beard*

Seriously though... I don't know what's wrong with him but he's been aching all day. Maybe I pulled a muscle, but it aches at the top of my plate. Soooo... I have no idea.

For now I'm sticking with the weather changing.

NICE.

Dear people of the world, (I felt like writing to the world today)

I figured out what to use for my visuals for my speech!!! TRANSPARENCIES... Yeah. I'm triumphant AND they are all printed out and looking lovely. I didn't even have to do anything... Dr. Brian D Ray had it all laid out, looking quite spiffy. Thank you Dr. Ray. (Don't worry concerned citizens of the world, I'm not going to plagiarize and say that I made those lovely visuals... I will give credit where credit is due.).

A few matters I would like to bring up. My MP3 player, Preemie, decided to give me full sound today. The headphone jack has died and I have to hold it in to get full sound, OR move it around until it actually makes contact. So anyway, today I barely had to move it at all and I was able to listen to Dashboard in all Chris Carrabba's glory (who, btw is pretty much just beautiful). BUT I was wondering if Preemie is demon possessed because it turns on by itself. This nasty habit killed my last battery. So, as I was driving (I had Preemie hooked up to the car stereo) I turned off the Preemie.. AND THEN IT TURNED ON AGAIN. So, I'm a patient person.. I turned it off. AND IT CAME BACK ON. We repeated this little song and dance routine one more time and then I just decided to leave it on. I gave Preemie a disapproving look and I wondered out loud if a demon had taken possession of my mini zen....

AND! I went to Talbertsons (Target+Albertsons=Talbertsons.. Same area so yeah) and I decided to use my lovely Starbucks gift card to get some black tea. Now, at the Talbertsons Starbucks some of the Baristas have gotten slightly complacent in listening to my drink order. "Venti black iced tea, two splenda, shaken." And 3 of the baristas put the splenda in the cup, pour the drink and and put the lid on... So then I have to drink a bitter iced tea. ALSO these three put like ONE scoop of ice in my drink. ONE SCOOP. I'm sorry. I wanted an "iced" drink. Not a drink with three pieces of ice in it. But! Joe (he's my friend now.. I'm slowly working up to having a Starbucks connection.... He goes to my college so we talk about that. He's nice and he's pretty funny.) and the other lady, who I cannot remember her name. Those two make my drink perfectly. The lady, who I can't remember her name, made my drink today. And as I was merging on the freeway I realized that there was actual ice in my cup. Like she filled the cup up with ice. AND she actually shook my drink, which equally distributes the splenda-y goodness to all the black tea.

I thank you Barista lady, you made my drink correctly and because of that I still have ice to chew on even 2 hours after you made it.

I'm not particular about my Starbucks at all... ;) But I only learned from the best, "Excuse me.. Did you put one and a half pumps of chocolate in there?" =P

Hark!

My last day of being 16!

=O

I told dad he should buy a puppy while I'm in school and surprise me with him tomorrow morning. ...Well, I think it's a good idea..... =P

(also, I'm making a speech tonight about stereotypes of homeschoolers. I'm not sure if I'm having indigestion or I'm just REALLY nervous. Let's hope whatever it is will go away soon... I have to make my speech in about an hour and a half.)

yay!

I'm debunking stereotypes of homeschoolers for my public speaking class "speech of fact." It's interesting...

Oh and, "

me: Yes you did.

Dashboooooooooooooooooard!!!!!!!!!!!

Amelia: meh

me: Ch.

Says the MCR fan...

Amelia:

me: shakes head"

Unexpected.... And yet plain as day

So tonight we (the public speaking class) organized ourselves into groups according to what we are going to speak about for the quarter. My education group split so I went and listened to the family group.

[thanks editor Brian...]

So now I'm in the family group. In this group are most of the people that I had planned on sub-consiously avoiding. Except for Vlad, whose father was a preacher in Russia and was killed by the KGB for aquiring Bibles. I was planning on finding out whether he is a Christian or not. But eveeeeeeeeeeeeryone else was VERY vocal about how they 1) hate religion
2) hate people who force religion on others.

So I was kind of planning on having a "silent witness." Where they would see my actions but from a distance... Where I wouldn't have to deal with them. >_< Soooo.. God kind of had other plans.... So now I'm in this group. And I was really kind of sad because of how lost the people are in my group. On the radio when we were driving home the new song came on about having a heavy burden, but it is what we are called to do as Christians. And then the singer goes on to sing about Paul and all the trials he went through and many more examples. I'm going to find out who sings that and I'll post the lyrics later. That song brought tears to my eyes..

I am the remedy for these people. I am going to be around them a WHOLE lot. And I will not just be having a "silent witness" (sounds dumb, doesn't it?) but I will be interacting with them. They will hear how I talk, see how I dress and act and they will notice a difference. Also, one of the people in my group talks like a sailor (AND I'm only using that over-used cliche because he is a sailor) so my dad challenged me to graciously say, "Hey [name], I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't use such colorful adjectives around me. I don't talk like that and it would really help me out." He has seen the morals of the group (most of them anyway) and he thinks it's ok. He doesn't talk like that to the teacher. So I am going to do that. He needs to know that's not ok. And really, cussing is only acceptable on a base level with anyone. You don't hear sales clerks swearing or in any business or formal place.

So it was a challenging day! Fo sho....

I just finished my first speech for Public Speaking. It was about my "diverse heritage."

I've decided that I can't think about it any more or my head will explode. I always feel like I do so horribly but usually it all turns out ok. So I cannot analyze it right now! I'm taking a mental break. I still have a lot left to do but oh yeah!!! I finished my first speech and I didn't die! This is a good thing. I will say some things about it buuuuuuuuuut I'm soooo tired! Today is a really long day. Anyway. Dr. Z said that we could talk about our religious heritage, educational heritage, she pretty much gave us free reign. So I talked about how my Grandma is the main reason that I am saved. I was kind of nervous about talking about that because I go to a very, very secular community college and being a Christian is not usually smiled upon. I wasn't the only one who spoke about that. There's a lady named Cherrie and she's a Christian. She said how for a while she thought her identity was from her position (wife, mother, daughter, sister) and she wasn't too happy with that. Then she started going to church and she realized that her position is in Christ. She spoke before I did and it really encouraged me.

But I've never been this vocal about my faith in a class before, in this class you have to be vocal with your classmates, unlike math or English. So yeah...

But the whole thing wore me out. I got a lot done though! I finished the lab work in like 2 and a half hours. I also started researching for my essay.

The temptation for me right now is to worry, to try and control things. A verse I found last night really reminds me of how I should not be trying to control things.

"Look to the LORD and his strength;
seek his face always."
-Psalm 105:4

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;"

I bought the Remedy CD when it came out last week. One of my favorite songs is Surely We can Change.

And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn’t hit

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

.... Where there is pain
Let us bring grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Let us be brave
Where there is misery
Let us bring them relief
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Oh surely we can change
Something

-Surely We Can Change by the David Crowder Band

It reminds me of St. Francis' prayer.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

I think that is my theme for this quarter,

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love;"

It almost brings tears to my eyes... I'm so used to being encouraged, to being understood, to receiving.... But now I am in the world. There aren't many Christians that I see every day, so I don't have the encouragement of my brothers and sisters..... But now I must show Jesus' love to the world.

There are already so many people that are in my classes that I have made connections with, God has placed them in my life for a reason. I just desire to be a useful tool in His hands.

"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. .... that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, 19-21

I have three things to say (Ok, it became four, sorry)

1. It's a good thing that this blog is not a "quilting" blog or any other type of crafting blog. I wouldn't get any comments except from my sister.
   
2. It's the end of September! =O I finished my first week of school, it went pretty well school-wise. There were lots of surprises and some really hard stuff that I have to deal with, I could use prayer for wisdom in these things. And tomorrow I go and start another week of school! One down 10 more to go! Onward and upward and all of that...
3. I was walking up the steps this morning after John and I got back from church and I thought about how sad it is to come home and to not have anyone welcoming you. Then right after I thought that John said, "It's weird to not have any animals here when you get home...." And I was like, "I just thought the same thing!!!" It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who is still dealing with losing Boomer and Diesel. I'm trusting that God has a plan that is waaaaaaaaay better than having pets right now. AND! I get to go and visit the Chats and Harry every once in a while. So that's nice. They get really excited to see me (and mom, dad, and John).
   
4. Bella is turning 8 next Saturday and she will be half my age. And! When I turn 17 (in 19 days...) I will have half someone else's age (for 41 days?). So yes. It is the year of half ages.
   

Good Monday

Well tonight was the second Christian Life and Witness class. I picked Allie up and brought her. I'm really glad she could come, we got to talk about some really good stuff.

Since this class started I've been convicted of not spending enough time memorizing. The first night the speaker asked us, "If your Bible were taken away from you, how big would your Bible be?"

How convicting. I've thought about that question a quite a bit. I talked with Allie about how I struggle in this area and she's going to keep me accountable.

So I am going to memorize 1 Corinthians 1:26-29. I've always loved this passage.

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."

-1 Corinthians 1:26-29

Those verses also go along with the ones I read in Jeremiah a couple of weeks ago.

"This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,

but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD."

-Jeremiah 9:23-24

My Heroes

I have some new heroes from this weekend.

Jake Locker. Yes, yes, I know he's the huskie's quarterback, but he's still my hero. He's a really good quarterback and he is a brother in the Lord.

Number 26 from the Cougs. One of the Vandal players accidentally ran over one of our players and knocked him out. So that went on for about 10 minutes. #26 knelt down on the field and prayed, the rest of the players on the field also knelt down.

So anyway, the Coug fans (being the wonderful people that they are) started swearing at the Vandal player who hit the Coug. So then this girl who was on the Vandal sideline said something like, "Well you don't even care when our players get hurt!" And their (the girl and one of the guy Coug fans sitting in front of us) continued on in their discussion. She ended up flipping him off. Aaaaaaand anyway there was a lot of ugliness going on. I was pretty mad about how st00pid people were being and then this guy walked past, I had seen him earlier and he made me happy. He was selling hot chocolate and he had dark brown hair, a beard and blue eyes. He smiled and seemed very happy. So when he walked past again I looked at him and he reminded me of Jesus, I can't really explain why. I think it was the way he acted and then I calmed down. That guy reminded me of my Saviour and how I need to be living to show others His love. So that guy is my hero.

There you have it. Aaaaaaaaaand it's pretty gray and rainy today, but I'm glad to be home.

Reminders

It doesn't look too different from last year.

I had an appointment with my surgeon today, he doesn't recommend surgery. I haven't really been able to sort out my feelings about that statement. Deep down in my heart I wanted to get them out, I want to get back to normal. This hardware is like a handcuff, always reminding me of things God showed me during that trial. I'm reminded of my frailty and my pride.

God showed me that I actually do need help and that I have a lot of pride that gets in my way. I have to "humble" myself and accept help from people.

Whenever I see the scars, feel the plate and screws, or feel it burn I'm reminded of uncomfortable things. I just wanted to be "normal" again. God doesn't want me to be "normal" again, He wants to keep these things fresh in my mind. And I do need reminders about these things.

So that is what I was feeling after I left the office, I was feeling sad because I didn't get my way on a small level I suppose. Life changes so quickly. Trials come fast, and if I got rid of the screws I might not be reminded of that trial and the things I learned.

So anyway! My brain is pretty much gone. I'm tired and I think I'll go get some water.