Reminders

It doesn't look too different from last year.

I had an appointment with my surgeon today, he doesn't recommend surgery. I haven't really been able to sort out my feelings about that statement. Deep down in my heart I wanted to get them out, I want to get back to normal. This hardware is like a handcuff, always reminding me of things God showed me during that trial. I'm reminded of my frailty and my pride.

God showed me that I actually do need help and that I have a lot of pride that gets in my way. I have to "humble" myself and accept help from people.

Whenever I see the scars, feel the plate and screws, or feel it burn I'm reminded of uncomfortable things. I just wanted to be "normal" again. God doesn't want me to be "normal" again, He wants to keep these things fresh in my mind. And I do need reminders about these things.

So that is what I was feeling after I left the office, I was feeling sad because I didn't get my way on a small level I suppose. Life changes so quickly. Trials come fast, and if I got rid of the screws I might not be reminded of that trial and the things I learned.

So anyway! My brain is pretty much gone. I'm tired and I think I'll go get some water.