Monday, June 18, 2007

Gone

There hasn't been time to digest the thought that Diesel is gone. It was completely unexpected.

He's been gone for three days now. I think. I'm not sure. At times I'll walk around and think of how he used to stalk me, or attack me when I wasn't looking. Or when I see one of his toys, when I walk past one of his favorite spots to sleep I'm instantly reminded that he's gone. Eleven months went by so quickly.

Still hasn't sunk in. I don't feel like I'm really awake when I wake up in the mornings.... Diesel isn't there to wake me up. He used to attack my feet if I moved them at all.

He may come back, only God knows. For now I'm practicing living without him. I read this last night, "Leave your orphans; I will protect their lives. Your widows too can trust in me." Jeremiah 49:11 And today I realized I can't do anything to bring him home. I cried. But I looked at that verse again and read about the widow at Zarephath. My heart was quieted, and I knew God has Diesel in His hands.

I didn't cry before today. We didn't really talk about him being gone. But when I told Kristy about how unexpected all of this is I almost started crying. It's not good to hold things in all of the time.

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day. I'm always glad for the freshness of tomorrow.

4 comments:

Sir Brian The Manly said...

Is there a shelter place that he could end up at if they find him?

naomi said...

Is diesel your kitten? I found one several months ago and it died after three weeks :(
Hope you find diesel again:)
God Bless,Naomi

jelvistar said...

Did you make a "lost kitty" flyer yet? Some old lady down the street could be taking care of the Dies(not DIES, but like Dies-short for Dies-el) But I digress, I don't think you've ever had a cat with as much personality as Diesel. He was a very entertaining little dude. Chato will miss him when we visit, she will be like, "where oh where is my nemesis?"

Love ya.

Elyse said...

Birananananana, I suppose. But he hates strangers and I have a feeling no one could catch him if he were still alive. So he's probably dead.

Naomi, thanks for stopping by! I'm sorry to hear about your kitten. This is the second time we've lost Diesel, the first time he came back. He was stuck in my brother's engine! It was amazing that he survived and we were very glad to get him back. He was still little then.

Kristy, well the flyer thing was shot down. That's when I started crying. It made me realize I can't do anything. But I think that if Diesel is in someone's house he is probably in the houses behind us because that's where he liked to prowl. Yes.... The Chats will miss that whole chasing and running away game. Like when Diesel would drink milk and glare or hiss at the Chats. Good times....