Deep-ish post alert! Run for the hills! Or read it if you want...

I was hanging out with Mary and Amelia in the cafeteria today because pickle ball was canceled (so they had nothing to do) and I was early for class. So we were just hanging out and I looked over and I saw Connor and I was like, "Eep! I'll go ask him to sit with us!" And the Anti Social Anti Club groaned and said, "Can't you wait for half an hour?" So I left them with a glare for Connor's table.

So anyway, I sat down and he kind of jumped. lol. Anyway, we started talking about stuff and man.. It's always so great to talk to him because the spiritual things are interwoven into it. I asked him if he knew what college he wanted to go to yet and he said he didn't, but he was trusting God with it. He had just told me about the things that led up to his salvation (which was like... Last March.) and man.. It really is amazing how God works all things out for our good. It would take a while to tell you the whole story, I don't even know it fully. Connor has been writing it out and he's at 10 pages now, but he's just a tenth of the way done. =P So Connor responded to my college question with the thing about trusting God and he said that with all the Lord has done in the last year he couldn't guess what He is going to do in the future. So Connor is just going to wait for the Lord and he's totally ok with not knowing (although he's not just being lazy. He has applied to like 5 colleges. =P).

This really isn't a post focused on Connor, I promise you. ;)

After he made that statement of trust he said this in regard to what he is going to do:

Two rules, love God and love others more than you love yourself, which is interesting if you don't love yourself.

And then he said, "But.. That's a whole other issue. I'll address that at some other point." lol. Anyway, it was fantastic to talk to him again and I've missed having him around because most guys at school [read every guy that I've met thus far save three. But this isn't counting the guys that I've grown up with like Allen] are not seeking God, and plus Connor is hilarious.

I thought about what he said about loving yourself and it didn't really hit me how deep that was. It is so true. If you don't know your worth in God's sight you won't know anyone else's worth. I'm going to use an example of girls because, well, I am a girl and I'm not exactly sure how this self image thing works for guys.

Wow. I am really hesitant to write about some examples of not loving yourself and hurting others because it's really ugly and I do it a lot. I'm sure that every girl has done it, you see a girl.. Any girl and you size her up. Either you think that she is more attractive than you and you search for faults, or you think that she is less attractive than you and in that thought resides smug pride. I've been watching a movie with friends and the lead actress will come on and two of my friends immediately point out the actress's perceived faults. Sometimes I catch this and I look at them like, "What in the world are you doing?! God MADE HER. He MADE YOU. He chose EVERY SINGLE PART OF HER and He chose EVERY SINGLE PART OF YOU. You're BOTH lovely!!!" But mostly there's a voice in my head that joins them... And far too often it goes unnoticed by me.

Or if you know a girl and you feel so less pretty than she is. Little snide comments that seem innocent come out, but if you really looked into your own heart you would see jealousy.

How in the world am I supposed to SHOW Christ's love to some girl if I envy her?!?! It wouldn't truly be Christ's love because I would always be putting myself before her and trying in every small way to put her down.

But what about when I remember how I am loved and because of that when I love myself? What happens then? Then you can actually love that person! Then you know that God made both of you with a purpose and that nothing can make either of you more or less loved by God. Then you'll find yourself not tearing her down, but building her up.

Can you see how important loving yourself is? I would say that it is key to showing Christ's love. It's key to coming to live how we were supposed to live. Not with jealousy, but genuine care for others. I think that when you love yourself, truly love yourself then you can love others better.

I also think that girls tear each other down because of fear. That's just it, it's plain old fear. Fear of losing status, fear of losing attention... But you know what the Bible says? Perfect love drives out fear.

Wow. I love how God did that. I left early for school because of the snow, but the roads were fine but because of that I got to talk to Connor for like half an hour and the Lord used him to remind me of what love is. And I just looked up love in quick verse and 1 John 4 came up. Wow.... I love how God works. :)

This is my cry for us! "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." (vs. 7)

"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." (vs. 11-12)

(note in verse 16 how it says that while we are on earth we are like Him.. We're representing Him, you guys..)

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (vs 18)

"If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." (vs. 20-21)

Letting petty pride live on is not an option for followers of Christ and I've forgotten that.

Love each other, guys. Let's practice living like our Lord.